Wednesday, April 23, 2008

How a good day turned into a lousy night..

I just feel absolutely terrible after a restless night of interrupted sleep. Like I'm the worst boyfriend ever.. When I know I'm not.

I never expected you to apologise, but you think you know me so well and you think that I think I'm always right and you're always wrong so I expect you to give in to me. And you took that assumption and used it against me. You didn't even think that maybe, I just wanted to tell you one more time that I love you over the phone.

I expected conflicts because I'm working and you're studying. But I did not expect personal attacks, doubting my love for you, saying I don't care or encourage you, that I'm too busy to spend time with you and all those other comments.

I'll try my best to change, but what if I can't? What will you do then? Leave me because I can't change? Or continue to accept me for who I am?

I've always accepted you or tried my best to love you for who you are. Just throw my expectations out the window and choose to believe that you are the one I love for life, that you are the best girlfriend in the world. I never doubted your love, but at the same time I try not to take it for granted.

You may not believe it, but this is really my best. I pray that God expands my capacity to love more, to be more outwardly caring, but I really hope you understand I am trying to change. And give me chances to show that.

I don't want to cry in front of the computer thats so embarrassing if anyone walks into my office.

1 Comments:

Blogger PuppyLove said...

and how from a lousy night turned into a wonderful week =) all those morning calls helped =) simple gesture but showed me lots of love =)

10:25 AM

 

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