stuck in library cos late for lesson...

This is so ridiculous.. i woke up early today to go to sch n who knows, i was late, n the classroom was so full i couldn't get in.. anyway note to self, wake up earlier next week on monday morning!! hahaha...

Anyway, i've got so much notes to study i think i'm gonna puke... 3 stacks of notes to read! this is getting ridiculous.. sighz..

But on the way to sch i was listening to pastor ulf's CD on the music breakthru.. n it was simply amazing.. i was listening to it n driving to sch in a rush, yet i still felt so touched n moved in e spirit! i was even tearing at the prophecy, cos i know itz gonna affect me in so many ways!

i really thank God that He's raised me up in so many areas, in the cell group guitarist ministry, choir ministry, and of cos the strikeforce ministry! its all musically related! who knows, maybe one day i'll write a song for the church! hahaha.. yup, thats my goal, to write an album of songs within the next few years.. so far i've written only 1 good one!

was so challenged by pastor tan's svc last week, yet pastor kong's msg on being a true worshipper on sunday was so impacting cos i really had a vision while he was preaching.. about the mercy of God, who remembers not all our sins, but forgives, forgets and loves us totally all the time. God is so merciful, yet this aspect was never seen by me in a long time... always thought that God wants me to excel, failure is a disgrace to Him, so i always think if i can't do it well, then i won't do it at all.. but this thinking is wrong. if i don't do it, true i won't make mistakes, but then i won't learn anything, and I'm not giving God a chance to intervene n come through for me! i may be even cutting back on a manifestation of the power n miracles of God when i shrink back in fear, instead of stepping out in faith.

God, i want a walking-on-water experience!

anyway tonight is SF training for the osaka trip, n i must say, i've never felt so at home with any bunch of friends than the strikeforce pple! i don't know why, but they just feel like family! perhaps its cos they come in different age groups n backgrounds, yet we all have 2 things in common, a love for God, and a passion to reach out thru drumming! i have always believed that the strikeforce will go many places, it will be famous thru out the Christian world, n even in the secular world, n the members who are now all young n in their sec sch, will eventually grow up into strong, spiritual, passionate men n women of God! and i'm so glad tat You allowed me to be part of this wonderful ministry, to help out when it was 1st started!

actually i've been in so many ministries, i've had my fun in the drama ministry, acted for at least 3-4 large events, been in choir for 5 years, served as guitarist for cell group n Bible studies, keyboard player for zone musician, helped out several occasions in children's church, even ushered at a few events, ex-contact head for the strikeforce, and i think thats all. yeah.. God i've had my fun these past few years, n You've been great all along, blessing me, touching n changing me..

But from now, i will be about my Father's business. time to really get serious with You! to know Your will, n doing it, to see Your vision n striving to attain it, with the Holy Spirit empowering me all the way.

Thank You for the vision yesterday at svc! Of a blinding light piercing its way into my body, straight at my heart, puncturing a hole thru my body, n slowly burning away all the dirt n sins in my life! Then slowly the light transformed n formed angel wings on my back! n i know those are not my wings, but the wings of God... i will rise on eagle's wings, like what Your Word says.. You will take me up n soar like never before, but only if i trust in You, only if i do whatever is right, whatever You want me to do.. somehow my brain thinks this is unfair, its dictatorship, yet in my spirit i'm rejoicing cos i feel its the right thing to do! its so weird, my mind conflicting with my heart n spirit. but thank God i'm 2/3 spirit and 1/3 flesh amen! i will rise on eagle's wings, the sin of the world holds no appeal to me... let it be so for as long as i serve You!