not so bad.

things aren't as bad as i imagined them to be. thank God for that.

of cos, not everything is rosy n not everything's good n well with the world, but at least i can make an effort to deal with the issues n not just bitch about it.

had lunch with eunice ding today. honestly, felt a little weird. i think she felt it too at the beginning. we were so close like siblings a few years ago, but today at lunch it feels like we're almost strangers. isn't that sad? its like, we had a million things to say to each other but at the same time we conversed about casual topics first rather than jumping into the issues that we really wanted to talk about.. like her job, how bad they treat the employees, her struggles with her boyfriend, my arguements n differences with joan n some church pple, my job dissatisfaction, etc.. we did manage to get to talking more freely but only while drinking coffee at starbucks did we really open up to each other.

it was good, i really enjoyed catching up w her, n we both really wanted to make this lunch happen. it has been a good 3-4 months since i last met her.

but why was there this.. invisible wall between us? like we're afraid to talk to each other like we used to when we were both helpers in the cell group, when we both loved Jesus n served Him with all our heart. like we're afraid to admit to each other that now, we're no longer living the same life for Him. that we're struggling a little in our walk with God, we're struggling with our job, our relationships with our other half, n basically life got tougher.

after lunch at the jap place (thanks to Eunice for the belated birthday treat!) we hadn't really conversed about the main issues yet? it was more like reporting on what happened in the past few months, cordial n formal. i don't understand what made us talk like that. perhaps it was meeting at raffles place, in the middle of a working day, dressed in business attire?

but at starbucks, we finally began to talk about the issues that mattered. she told me something which i was shocked, n which she herself was badly shocked when she found out, something not so nice about mr YJ. sigh, i must say i am disappointed in him. i always thought he was better than that, that he wouldn't conform n give in to wordly practices. but anyway, it was weird, i was telling her how i made Joan upset n how blessed i am to have her although we're really different in some areas, n eunice was like telling me she loves YJ to bits but she isn't sure if he's the one she's gonna marry. fairy tales differ from reality after all. nevertheless, we managed to crack a few jokes n laugh, n that broke the ice, enabling us to really communicate like siblings once again.

but we were talking about different our lives are now compared to the past, n she actually said i now have a lot of pride, n actually she did too. thats why working adults lose their passion for God, become arrogant n unspiritual. some pride is good, self-confidence is necessary to succeed in the working world, but pride of life is wat makes us distance ourselves from God.

we had a 1.5 hour lunch break n were reluctant to get back to work, but well, work is work. i must catch up more with her, before i move to the new place, which is like damn far away from her.