really sick n tired of everything.. God help me..

Dear Lord,

feeling really tired now.. emotionally, physically, spiritually... just don't feel like doing anything except listen to music n play games.. actually i like to study but it really sucks going to sch with no friends around me... haiz.. sorry Lord i'm such a disappointment in sch, i really don't kow how to shine in sch for you.. everything i ever do seems to be such a mundane thing... i don't really find enjoyment in what i do.

i used to be so on fire, i used to really want to serve You and be a cell leader.. but now i think that dream is dead, and i really need to move on..

i'm getting tired of always trying to do the right thing.. that day when i didn't go for service, its like all hell broke loose. i dunno whats wrong with the cell group, but i pray that You bless n anoint each n everyone of them.. that they have a better chance n a better hope of loving You and spending time with You and knowing You in a much more intimate way than me...

Not becos i can't be bothered to.. but becos i'm in a pity party or whatever they call it. i'm really sick of Christians behaving like everything is always alright.. like everything that happens is really no big deal.. well i guess thats becos they got more faith in You than i do. thats no reason to put me down. i hate pple who think they're better than me. who the hell gives them a right to nag n tell me what to do... if they first don't show a good example?

i've stated before time n again. respect must be earned. yes, God gives us salvation becos He first loved us, n He is to be glorified n respected n worshipped above all. but excuse me, you Christians are not God. You may try to look n think n act like Him, but you're a far cry from the expression of God's love.