Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Things are looking better =)

Dear Lord,

Thanks for the great lunch meeting with my favourite leader, Yujie! Though he may not be a CGL anymore, he's still one inspirational guy, who has really seen me through a lot of things in my life. His advice is, as ever, simple and yet convicting. God i really need such friends around me who are able to teach me many things about growing up, i really have idea entering the working world and adulthood can be so complicated.

Also, thanks for Joan's understanding and willingness to change. Despite all the bad temper and other various faults I have, she patiently puts up with me, even though sometimes i'm unreasonable and expect things to be done my way almost all the time. i really do need to learn how to love her and encourage her more! Lord, let me be a good partner who is able to lead her and bring both of our spiritual lives back on track! Even as she copes with the CGL issues, Lord teach her the right words to say and the right attitudes of a disciple. I guess one thing i influenced her in a very negative way is to be rebellious and think more for herself.. Sorry Lord, i never meant for that to happen, but in the past she used to care too much about others, n didn't love herself at all. Whereas I care too much about myself and love others only a little.. Help us strike a balance!

Also want to say that everything i've written the past few days is purely out of anger and frustration and emotion, and nothing i write or say really shows You how i really am. You know that deep inside, no matter how angry or pissed off i am, i will always try my best to honour You and in turn, honour Your chosen leaders, even if i disagree with them. obedience is better than sacrifice, or so the Bible says. I want to obey You and learn to discipline my flesh through tough discipleship! God, let me have the courage to admit my mistakes, the humbleness and brokeness that You look for.. take away my pride and ego, leave it empty so it can be filled with the Holy Spirit!

In Jesus name,


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