One final cell group with N280 this coming friday..

Dear Lord

I dunno, but I think I've done a dedication page to N280 pple before liao, but ever since, things have happened which sort of prompted me to continue with it, adding more pple to the "thank you" list. haha.

Well, not really a thank you kind of speech, but rather a sort of plea for help to come into the cell group becos i really don't think it can function well at its current state. what, with all the flirting n touching going on, as well as the influx of certain irritaing n annoying pple, as well as possible new comers who might be staying. so many things happening in the cell group, and already i believe i'm in the dark about the more juicy details n secret rendezvous! oh well, doesn't matter i guess, at the end of the day as long as these guys keep coming back to church n cg, i believe sooner or later (but hopefully sooner!!) they will get touched by You and will have the desire (at least) to change for the better.

Anyway i'm not going to apologise for any comments here, which is why it is a personal blog, not a public blog!

there's this brewing hot spot between certain cg members, n its making everyone else uncomfortable n gossipy about whats going on.. it involves D, J, K, and possbily others whom i do not know. there's this irritating new guy who thinks he knows a lot n tries too hard to impress n makes stupid comments which piss pple off. he'd better learn how to control his tongue before someone gives him a knuckle sandwich to his face. and honestly i wouldn't be too surprise if he gets the outcaste treatment cos honestly, almost everyone i've talked to has been irritated by him. haha. what a loser. but then again i suppose he's there to help mold characters n test the patience of the cg pple? hahaha..

really a lot of weird stuff going on in the cg, a lot of gossip n slanders flying around.. i don't like it, n i wish those pple will stop behaving indecently in public. gossip splits a cg, divides the pple, and when they can't work together becos there is no unity, how will the new friends be able to be integrated smoothly?

well there's those who also have brought new hope n a new kind of vigour n spirituality into the cg. kudos to alex for bringing 6 friends, all of whom responded to the altar call! praise the Lord, its really amazing for a whole group to get saved. though they might be army pple, i pray that they get integrated well into the cg at this friday's party! also hensa's friends seem pretty alright though they didn't respond to the altar call, he's been "working" on them for quite a while, just waiting for the right time to bring them to church, n also for the right time to share Christ with them.

also wanna thank You for an enjoyable christmas party on monday night! though things didn't really go according to plan, i think most of the cg pple had fun until the countdown, n some seemed bored with the moulin rouge movie, but honestly i couldn't really be bothered becos i was sooooo tired liao, i didn't have the strength or energy to lead any more games! actually up till now, i still feel i haven't fully recovered from the overnight party! hahaha.. feel really sleepy n my whole body was aching last night! guess i really am getting old eh? hahaha.. i think tat is probably gonna be the last christmas party i have with millie's pple cos i'm afraid that they were bored cos i think i was mainly catering to my cg pple. oh well, i guess christmas eve in 2008 will probably be spent with Joan privately in a nice restaurant when i have the money to spend!! i hope everyone had fun at the party, cos i most certainly did. especially the worshipping session, i really felt for once in a long time, that when we worshipped, it wasn't just singing a song, but that Your presence was among us. that was great!

and finally to get to the crux of the post, happy birthday Lord Jesus! Merry christmas, and hope you reaped a great harvest of souls at the christmas celebrations this year! harvest season isn't over, this friday i pray that there will be another time of major decisions, or at least a time where Your spirit can touch their hearts again!

You've seen me through relationship crisis, academic stress, working stress, cell group problems, CGL conflicts, and so many other times when i felt like giving up n nobody was there, i knew in my heart that You were always there. even when my heart grew cold n my heart hurt so bad, i knew that You were always waiting for me to turn to You, which i could've done at any time. though often i ignored You, took You for granted. Lord this year, my Christmas wish is to be able to love You and know You more. plain and simple.

Yesterday was supposed to have lunch with Joan, but cos her parents overslept she couldn't mke it for our christmas lunch but i guess its alright. at least our parents have met! hahaha.. it was quite a funny n weird way to meet, in the middle of the road outside church, but i guess it was pretty alright.

i've still yet to spend some quality time with Joan this Christmas season. i think tonight i'll realy take some time to appreciate her n spend time with her n make her feel so loved. after all the rushing to queue for services n hounding of new friends n organising of christmas party and so many other updates n lunches n dinners n movies, i really feel quite tired out! i don't know why, but i think i'm doing so much christmassy stuff that i've forgotten to take a moment to really absorb the christmas spirit and enjoy the atmosphere of christmas! Lord, its all about You when i work for you at Christmas, but i mustn't forget the worship, the personal fulfilment that i get when i immerse myself in Your special holiday. like how the song goes..

"as little children we would dream of Christmas morning
and all the gifts and toys we knew we'd find
but we never realised a baby born that blessed night
gave us the greatest gift of our lives."

truly You are the reason for the season, and 2007 will be remembered as a great christmas!

thank You Jesus, for everything You've done, for coming to earth, for coming into my life, for all the blessings and for all the love You've showered over me. words alone cannot express my gratitude! i pray that next year i will truly be able to love You more n spend more time with You.

In Jesus name I pray,
Amen!