The worst scolding I ever got, but also an enjoyable makeup cg n jogging on tues.

Got blasted really bad by boss on Wed afternoon cos the annoying clients, instead of calling me to ask questions, went to shoot email to my boss to complain. really nothing to say about it liao, cos wat can i do right? corp sec work is not my problem anyway.

on the other hand, i enjoyed jogging with clarence, millie n yeewen on tues night. we jogged from millie's house along the mrt track, turn right along the edge of yishun, passed some army camps n the yishun nasi lemak place, then ended up back at millie's place again. i think we jogged about 3-4 km, in a square shape around yishun. haha!

then last night had cg at helen's house with the guy ban chuan as the CGL, not sure if pronounced his name correctly. he reminds me a lot of my cousin bernard for some reason. LOL! i think i enjoy millie's cg better than my own cg. i know most of the pple there, n they're more, erm how should i say, innocent n sincere n friendly? i dunno, but the CGL came over n spoke to me after cg n we had a nice chat, which was good. hehz. somehow everyone knew joan n i were together even if we didn't announce it or anything! hahaha..

but then again, that leads me to question myself.. i click with youths better than adults? does it mean i'm more childish n immature mentality? or do i have a biased n prejudiced view of adult cell groups? i really don't know. i've been to other adult cgs before, n i felt totally welcome there. i think it was at serangoon area, i went with mark n yorkbing for some makeup cg, though we were the only 3 young pple there, the cg made us feel very welcome. do i really click better with youths in general?

at my work place, i click instantaneously with puikwan n hongyee, the malaysian lawyers who are about my age, n the other legal associate who's about 40 i think? so i don't think i have problem communicating with pple of my age or older, so why can't i feel at home in my own cell group? why is it i feel this distance, not just between me n them, but between the other members as well? am i imagining this, or being overly judgemental or sensitive? am i having some sort of bad attitude toward my own cell group? i don't hang out with them or communicate with them at all thru out the week, not that i don't want to but i prioritise them below work, below joan, below meeting my other friends from ex-cg, below meeting friends from outside church, below SF members.. probably right at the bottom rung of the ladder. haha! -_-

no offence to them, i'm sure they are all fun n spiritual pple in their own right, but there's just something i can't describe or identify, that sets me apart from them. Joan can sense this for me too even though she seems to be able to mix with some of the cg pple quite well. i mean i get the feeling i'm in a bunch of strangers drawn together for a common purpose of worshipping God n thats it. no sense of comradeship, or brotherly or sisterly love, no sense of openess or trust. of cos i could say its all not coming from me either, so i'm partly to blame for the problem of disassociation, or being superficially social.