feeling kinda weird...

dear Lord,

1st of all, thanks for the wonderful strikeforce dinner! i really love this ministry, the pple there are fun n God-loving, everything is just so energetic n unity is so strong in the ministry! i pray we'll always be this strongly united, n move on to the next level of skills n creativity for God!

but anyway jus wanna say sorry for all the constant temptations to sin.. n for falling to some of the urges to sin. forgive me n help me renew my mind in Christ! i want to live for You n nothing else, to satisfy Your will for me in my life, not my own selfish will!

also pls save me from all the temptations that i'm going thru.. i know it is perfectly possible to have plainly platonic relationships with girl friends, i have several close sisters-in-Christ, but pls let me not like any other person, or stopping to think about how come i'm still single when i can easily get a girlfriend. its been pretty amazing how i've been able to control myself, with the grace of God no doubt, that i've yet to "make a move" on anyone that i like this year. actually to be honestly about it, i haven't even really liked anyone yet since 2005! n i thank You for that! help me remain focus on You, n stop playing around. like i always say, we're in a battle here, spiritual warfare, i can't afford the time or the effort to be wasted chasing material things, or even chasing girls.

so i pray Lord You continue to help me set my eyes on You only, to remember my mission in life, to remember my dreams n visions for 2005!!

yes its true, sometimes i do miss the feeling of being with someone. its just so romantic n i dun even know how to describe it, being together with someone whom u love n loves u in return. i think You know what i mean right? i wonder if Jesus ever loved someone while He was on earth? probably not, cos He already loved the world so much n so equally, i don't know if He would understand what i'm talking about. but God is supposed to know all things right? sometimes i really wish i can break out of my vow n just go n chase n date girls, harmlessly in the name of fun. but then again, i know myself that to date someone is to invite commitment, to invite expectation n to be involved directly in that person's life. i shouldn't be forcing my way into the lives of other pple unless i intend to share the gospel with them! hahaha.. afterall, its Your plan whom they should be living by, not by feelings or emotions. even for myself, i wanna stop living my emotions n feelings!! help me stick to the decisions i've made, if not i'm not a Christian at all, if i don't do the things i say, i'd be no morre than a hypocrite, a pharisee, a sinner.

help me God, i don't wanna be alone, i don't wanna be lonely. i know You're always with me, thanks for the promises of God!

in Jesus name,
Amen