i dunno... i enjoyed myself.. but why do pple have to make me feel guilty about it??!

Dear God,

No disrespect to You, but i really feel so angry and irritated right now. Its not my fault that i forgot about the performance right? in the 1st place i'm not even very keen on going for it, i didn't promise anyone that i'll be going.

i can't believe it, merely the 6th day of the new year n i start to get annoyed at pple, n start to annoy pple by not turning up when i should've.

can't i even take a break?? and enjoy my last few days of the holiday?

God you can see that i've been working n working n serving n serving n praying n praying for weeks... ever since my exam ended, i've done nothing but really to serve You and to take care of Your pple.. not that i don't find enjoyment n fulfilment in those things, i really do, and I'm really honoured that You let me take care of Your sheep, n i do really want to rise up to be a CGL this year, but is there no rest for the wary?

i don't get it. all i did was make some choices. i choose to be with some frenz instead of other frenz. i choose to go for tuition instead of supporting my fren performing at the esplanade. he didn't even personally invite me. if he did, perhaps i would've remembered better.

not to say he isn't my close friend. but c'mon, if he is really going to be less of a friend to me cos of such a small incident, then i don't really have anything to say anymore. n rosa is like, angry with me cos of this incident? let her be mad.. i'm getting mad at her too.

God i'm really trying to get my life in order n go do something right for You. why is it that i'm still making mistakes?? why can't i just enjoy life like evry other christian? i believe i can. but i gotta learn how to please You first rather than to please others. or even myself.

i felt so good going out with joan n mikki today.. felt like a kid again, with real friends.. i didn't have to worry about anything. i want that kind of feeling again God, jus living life for You, n yet still able to enjoy my life n be happy. n at the same time be able to reach out n do Your will also. is that possible??

i pray that tml outing with jiaqi will be a good one.. a chance for me to preach to her the gospel. haha... thanks Jesus, You are the best, You are the only One who really understands me, who will stand on my side when everyone else only knows how to accuse n make me feel bad...

In Jesus name i pray,
Amen!!!