Sunday, May 01, 2005

Holy Spirit moves in N280!

dear Lord,

thank You for a great cell group! though the guitar string snapped n my fingers started to ache n felt really painful, i really did try my best to play n serve You n usher in the presence of God.. yeah but i felt cell group was really good, cos i really felt the presence of God, n the word which You gave kevin was really so true.. thank You for giving me the encouragement that i need! yeah.

regarding that girl, i really think that this is the right one for me but only at the wrong time. so i will only be with her 2 years later, haha.. its ok, i don't mind concentrating on You for now while i'm still young n able to serve You! amen!

yeah.. really gotta learn to put You first in my life once again! haiz, i guess its a learning process everyone has to go thru, putting You first, n our selfish desires last! God i really wanna make You the king of my life, the ruler of my ways, the Lord of all in my body, to depend on You fully for the very breadth i take..

for the whole kiat business, i really acted quite rashly, cos i really wanted to protect joan from any possible physical harm from anyone, but on the other hand i guess i dealt too harshly with him.. i pray that he doesn't hate me or anything, cos i genuinely wanted to reach out to him, n hope he found a suitable cg to be in chinese church or something, but it seems that all my efforts were wasted.. haiz. but nevermind, i learn from my mistakes. i dun wanna be a fool who repeats the same error again n again.. i only want to be a fool for Christ!

so i leave my life in Your hands, esp since i'm going to camp so soon! God i'm so annoyed n feel so depressed n a bit scared of going back.. to a place where i felt i was living in a nitemare.. of overnight duties, scoldings by superiors, where reason n civil behaviour somehow flies out the window n everyone behaves in such a hostile way. i really want to go back n give my best to whatever i do, so i pray that You help me in this big area of my life in the very near future!

God, tml is mikki's birthday! really thank You for bringing such a sweet, on fire girl into the cell group! i see she has so much potential, she has a lot of my personality in her too! haha.. pray that she will realise her destiny in You!

Lord, kenneth didn't come for cell group again! i really pray that You move in His life n take away any distractions n stumbling blocks in his life! help me discern what's wrong in his life, use me to impact him if You want me to! i don't wish to see him fall away so easily..

i'm also going to go thru the Bible study lesson tml morning, so help me preach n teach a good lesson to pak n small kenneth.

really relieved that my exams r over, but help me to plan out my holiday, give me directions on what i can use my time in camp to accomplish, who i can impact n reach out to in camp, time to exercise n build up my physical body so i can be a better protector of others! if i can't even protect myself, i can't ever hope to protect other pple! yeah..

i don't wish to address irrelevant issues that divert my attention from You anymore. i will only be bothered if i know its in Your will! all those wrong entrees when i make when i'm emotional, goes to show that i'm still not ready to take a group of young pple so on fire for You yet. but i believe that the time is coming, n very soon i will be a man of God, willing n able to lead Your pple fearlessly into battle!

God i really pray that You send us out to the harvest fields! thank God for all the new friends coming this week n next, for the pple who will be integrated really well into the cell group, for those who r receiving n giving Bible studies, for the backsliders who r sliding their way back into God's will, n even for Yujie, my beloved cell group leader! Father You bless him so mightily in everything taht he does, everything that his 2 hands touch will be powerfully blessed n multiplied in Your hands! I pray that You strengthen him n continue to bless his exams, bless him with financial sources, with good working partners n clients, n a brilliant mind in order to priorotise these things.. n even for myself, Lord i know i'm an easily distracted n unfocused person, like a sailboat in the wind without a proper rudder.. Lord let me be stablised in Your Word n Your Holy Spirit!

so in conclusion i pray that You touch me in a special way once again as i seek after You so longingly.. in Jesus name i pray,

There is a longing only You can feel
A raging tempest only You can still
My soul is thirsty Lord
To know You as I've known
Drink from the river
That flows before Your throne...
Take me deeper
Deeper in love with You
Jesus hold me close in Your embrace
Take me deeper
Deeper than I've ever been before
I just want to love You more and more
How I long to be deeper in love..


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