Monday, May 23, 2005

i've got to MOVE ON!

dear heavenly Father,

God i really need to break thru so much in my life n in everything that i do! as i talk to pple more n more, i realise how much they need You more n more, n how much I should be reaching out to them more n more, n stop being so selfish n think of my own enjoyment n happiness all the time! didn't the Bible promise me, happy are the pple who's God is the Lord? i don't need to pursue happiness, cos happiness will pursue me once i'm walking in the will of God! oh man, why is it i always take too long to understand simple revelations like that?

God i really want to see a break thru in my cell group N280. not in numbers, but in their relationship with You! i guess that when the leaders aren't doing well, it reflects on their members as well.. i'm so sorry i've ignored Your will by going after my own will, by pursuing Joan with all my time n effort.. which i could've spent on reaching out n counselling n praying n reading the Bible, n doing so many other things which r in line with Your will for me, n not trying to deceive myself by pretending that Joan is definitely the one for me. yes, she might be, n i really really do like her so much.. but i HAVE to put all those thoughts aside if i'm serious about serving You n You alone for the remainder of my vow.

Lord, i pray that as Joan does her best for Bingyu n Xianan, that You do not let her efforts be in vain, but instead multiply her efforts n enable her n empower her to really speak Your Word into the lives of the believers.. i want to be anointed too, so that when i give Bible study, it isn't dry n boring, it isn't a normal speech or whatever, but an event which spurs the Holy Spirit to surround us, that prompts God to manifest Himself in such a tangible way..

even for Pak, God i pray that i'm able to influence him n get him to open up to me n yujie even more, cos i'm really trying my best to talk to him.. pls open up a door for me to speak Your Words of wisdom into his life, so that he'll be so on fire for You once again..

God i really wish that temptations won't come my way! i get so annoyed when guys keep trying to chase joan! i dunno why it seems like an automatic reaction to get angry n jealous.. haiz. i know its not right to feel like that, God pls help me control my emotions n learn to be more accepting n forgiving.. also i need to put You first once again in my life. there's so many areas where You are not first. pst Kong always says, if God is not the Lord of all, then He's not my Lord at all! God, come into my life n take away the pain n wrong feelings once again, help me cope with all this nonsense...

i feel so helpless sometimes, cos i know i can't interfere with her affairs, i have no right to. n i should be correcting myself rather than pin pointing other pple's mistakes..

Lord, i jus spoke to wendy a bit n tried my best to get her to open up to me so i can share more of Your revelations with her, but she isn't interested in tat. maybe i can't be a CGL, cos i'm just so bad at handling pple n relationships! God i really pray tat she find herslf in You once again, that she realises her destiny n her will in You! she's a lukewarm Christian, n what does the Bible say about it? nothing good at all. i really pray that she will begin to love You so passionately n on such a deep level once again. even more myself. i pray that You speak to me, n i speak to You on such a regular basis, like that spiritual businessman who only uses 2-3 hours a day to work, asking You for the right decisions to make in his life!

i'm not handling my problems well at all.. help me Lord, before i drown in this sea of problems.. the Bible says i will not be overcome, but will overcome all things thru Him who strengthens me! one of my problems now is my skin.. its breaking out into rashes during the time i'm on duty n when i sin repeatedly against You without having true repentence..

God i pray that You come n move in the midst of the guitar lessons tml, that You use me to raise up a good n anointed guitarist for when the cell group next multiplies, probably around dec. help me to really see the bigger picture, not just even in cg, but in strikeforce, choir n every other area of my life!

its getting a bit late n i'm tired, but i still want to thank You for a great time at chill out session today.. yeah, its good to be back in action. thank You for letting me serve in choir today, to really bring down the presence of God in the main hall, though i felt that svc 5 wasn't really that good in the worhip, but YOu still eventually showed up in power n glory! You are never late nor early, You will always be in time! so i trust You that at the end of my vow, the time will come for me to be with the right person, at the right time, at the right place.

so much more to pray for, but let me recharge my faith in sleep!

In Jesus name i pray,


Post a Comment

<< Home