Emerge 2005.. After the fires die down..

Dear Heavenly Father..

So much to tell You, so much to pray for, so much left unsaid, so much areas i need to change, so much more do i need You now more than ever..

God first of all, thank You for all the new friends who came for the services this weekend! Really pray that all of them get integrated into the cell group..

I can't believe that the small blisters on my palm r so painful.. God pls heal me, all over my body there's rash n the blisters on my palm r painful, n my dry skin is so itchy n red n swollen.. pls pls God i really need You to heal me cos i've run out of medicine! i really have no other way to deal with my skin problem than to turn to You, cos i have duty in camp tml! Help!! another night spent in isolation with terrible skin problem.. pls help me keep cool n pls heal my skin from head to toe Lord! i know this is a selfish prayer, but i really can't take much more of this terrible illness.. i really want to do finish my duties at least for the month of June becos i don't want to "sabo" my friends in SOA.. i mean i already promised to finish up my duties for the rest of the month, i don't want to cause inconvenience to other guys. but i guess if i really have no choice, then i'll get excuse duty for the whole of my remaining 6 weeks in camp..

God if You want me to be a living testimony for You, i pray that You miraculously heal me n keep me safe from any harm n keep my skin in the best condition it can possibly be.. but if i can't get healed n need to stop doing duty, i pray that my friends will understand n not get angry with me.. i'm really sorry for all the wrong things i've done, for the things i've made on my own, when its all about You Jesus..

all the sin, all the wrong things in this world r but temporary, but the love of God, the joy of the Lord, the mercy of God endures forever.

so many things happened during emerge, but i don't even have the time to write it all down! the sessions were all repeated messages, yet i remember catching difference things from each session. also about NUS ministry, i promise You i will take action on it after my army ends. cos right now i can't really do much also. God i pray You really give me wisdom n strength n anointing to lead Your pple in the choir n strikeforce n in the cell group.. esp for pple like pak, kenneth, justin, etc.. i'm really so tired always serving n serving n looking after them. i hardly have time left for myself. sometimes i really get so tired out Lord! i'm really suffering from fatigue, from burnout.. help me crucify my flesh n put on the mind of Christ in all things!!

i'm so tired yet there's still so many things for me to do, God i pray You help me prioritise my time n effort, n make sure that I do things according to Your will n not according to my likes or dislikes.. use me to really be an effective Christian soldier for You!

honestly God, i was a little disappointed after the emerge conference, becos i didn't really had my dream resurrected. i didn't get any clear vision like swee keng did. i didn't even get to enjoy much of it cos as the choir needs to go backstage for most of the time, or miss out part of the day sessions.. n yujie got his calling to be a CGL in emerge 2004, yet i didn't get any calling to be one. i was so looking fwd to it.. perhaps thats where my mistake lies, wanting to hear something from You for my own benefit? i don't know Lord, pls let me know what i'm doing wrong...

about Joan, SCSR failed today.. well good news is we made it for one week plus as mere friends, but her coming over to my place to visit me today was a bad idea.. but i couldn't resist it. God help me flee from temptations in the future instead of creating traps for myself! we both really want to remain pure n holy n serve You until the right time..

God i'm truly so sorry about the wrong things i've done, n for the good thing's i've failed to do. let me really love You n hunger n thirst for You more than ever, wanting more of Your presence each day instead of complaining about the bad cards that life has dealt to me. i want to love You more, i want to know You more.. the greatest thing in all my life is really knowing n serving You.

i'm tired, think i'll turn in. good night Lord.

in Jesus name i pray
Amen.