Sunday, April 30, 2006

Days before the end of my exams..

Dear God,

its now only about 2 days before my family law paper. then after family law, i'll rush home to study for my law and econs paper. doesn't look too good.. i'm not really very enthu about law n econs cos i simply don't understand many of the concepts! i guess i'm not very cut out for economics stuff.

but God.. i just want to learn how to live my life by Your standards again. to walk in Your will constantly, not diving in and out of it all the time, double-minded and emotional. help me to learn how to trust You, that all things work together for the good of those who love You. that i will not lean on my own understanding but trust in Your ways. i'm so tired but i gotta persevere on for another 2-3 days. then after that its time to really enjoy.. but somehow i don't think i got the mood to enjoy, knowing that i'm not going to do too well for my exams. i can only hope for the best, that You take care of my situation. i dunno how is that possible cos i've already tried my best to study, n shockingly only in the final 2 weeks did i really "wake up" and start mugging. i don't know how shaun n yongji do it, they seem to be able to breeze thru exams by mugging the last few days. but i can't.. i'm the type who need to work consistently. pls, let me remember this next semester!! God i don't want to follow anyone's method, but to do what is pleasing in Your sight. what is suitable for me, is probably different from other people...

Lord, i'm a sinful person.. becos sin helps me to escape from reality for a short while, to falsely forget about all my problems.. but yet i should be learning to cast my cares upon You. yet i feel spiritually lethargic. like as if i don't want to do spiritual things anymore, i don't want to pray, or to go bible study, or to go church even. yes, i still go, cos i need to. its a habit. its a decision i made. but i don't want to lose the passion for the decision!! the mind can decide, even when the heart strays. i always deal in logic, but sometimes, logic doesn't enable me to walk in salvation.

refresh me oh Lord... change my heart oh Lord, make me ever true... change my heart oh Lord, may i be like You.. how can i ever be like Jesus, spotless and wrinkle-free.. only by taking heed according to Your Word, may a young man cleanse his way. that proverb is so true! without Your Word, i'll just crumble n fall. so please, speak to me... take me into Your sanctuary, of peace, of love, of contentment... help me fight the weak flesh of my body oh Lord!

in Jesus name,


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