Tuesday, February 08, 2005

gonna make it short n sweet, got sch tml! argh..

dear Lord,

today was another bad day, in the sense that i really did nothing productive aside from the strikeforce practice, i practically spent half the day sleeping, pontang school and play internet n computer games the whole afternoon, aside from tuition! i don't know why but every monday it seems so difficult to get myself going, i always miss monday lesson without any reason! God i really need to break out of this bad habit!

but before i go on n on, first n foremost, i would like to say i'm sorry once again, for committing the grossest sin ever.. i'm even too ashamed to write it down here. but You know tat i am totally full of regret n anger at why i am still committing such acts at such a critical stage.. when my life is at a turning point, when the destiny that You have for me is just merely within my grasp, i have to turn You away n grieve the Holy Spirit by committing stupid acts like those, thinking wrong thoughts out of the blue! i don't understand why something i read years ago still comes back suddenly to haunt me in the middle of the night. Father i pray taht You erase all the sinful memories n evil thoughts from my life before i was saved, all the perverse thoughts n things that i did, i want to bury my past n look toward the future which You have planned for me! i believe i was created by You for greater purposes than simply to please my flesh, i don't ever want to live a sinful mediocre boring life! i don't want to do things that satisfy just me, i want to do the things that satisfy You! forgive me Lord, i know You will but i want You to know that i truly want to repent. i will keep repenting n trying to improve myself, to make the right decisions in life, to abide in Your presence always, to rely on the Holy Spirit rather than to rely on my own limited wisdom n strength..

This chinese new year, Father i pray that You help me to really impact my relatives n bring them the love of Christ, show them how much You have changed me, how much they need to know You. i don't know how all this is going to happen, but i just pray trusting You will give me ideas n solutions on how to solve ppple's preoblems. esp my younger cousins, Father i pray You use me to speak to them on a much deeper level than any of the other relatives, even prophesy into their lives if it is Your will to do so. N i also pray that i keep myself from sins during the Chinese New Year, that i will still pray n go my QT n worship You no matter how tired i am.

Thank You Lord for hearing my prayers, i feel so relieved n cleansed by the blood of Jesus.. i don't ever want to take You for granted again. i want to know You as my friend, as my saviour, as my king, as my teacher, as my ultimate discipler. Thanks so much for all you've given to me. i will bless Your Holy name forever!

In Jesus name i pray,
AMen!!

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