Thursday, March 31, 2005

Must really get back on my feet this time..

Dear Lord,

i don't know whats wrong with my com, but anyway hope nothing happens until i write finish this entry.

its been quite along time since i updated this blog. God, so many things have happened over the past few days..

i've gone back to my old bad habits again. maybe not blatently, but its seeping back. n its worse than before.. i remember Your warning in the Bible, about the once the evil spirit leaves n comes back in n finds the "temple" swept clean, it goes out n brings 7 more evil spirits back n the state of the person is worse than before... i think this is happening to me, cos i didn't guard myself well...

Forgive me this final time for this repetitive sin Lord! sometimes its difficult to control my flesh.. like what Sy Rogers said, everyday its a constant battle between the will n the flesh.. but nevertheless, i'll keep on fighting, i'll keep on trying.. Yujie says its time to stop trying n start doing.. i don't think i'm bold enough to confess tat just yet..i mean we're not superhumans, we're merely humans with adam's sinful nature in us, our flesh tends to want to sin. to me, the only thing i can do is try. try my best, then let God take control n deal with the rest.

I will repent this time, i will serve only You! As hard as it may be..

There's so much to pray for, so many things on my mind, the cell group outing, the janice thingy, the new friends, the strikeforce n choir admin, my upcoming assignments, my exams, etc!! God there's like a thousand thoughts rushing thru me right now, i'm panicking n yet trying to stay calm, i'm sinking yet i'm trying to swim ashore, i'm back sliding n my heart is really crying out "save me Lord!" i can't handle these issue on my own!

i jus want to spend time worshipping You n reading Your Word at a comfortable pace, not chiong the Bible just cos of a free gift. in fact, i'm logging off right now.

Pls come n show me Your love n Your presence when i worship You Lord!!


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