Sunday, April 03, 2005

cell group at macritchie! hahaha..

Dear Lord,

just decided to write a quick note to You before i rest for svc tml!

it was simply amazing, today's cg! i truly expected a not-so-good turn up cos of the rainy weather, plus its really quite a strange n unusaul idea! thank You for Your presence even though we had no worship n it was just a short cg outing with praise n a shorter message, it was so impactful..

the message really touched pple like Kenneth, n even Mikki, n myself. i really had no idea that today's seemingly "salvation" message can be so applicable to me..

yeah, sometimes i question why is it i'm struggling to do Your will everyday, why is it i never ever seem to be able to be all that You want me to be, i still struggle with certain sins in my life, i still have that fleshy worldly desires..

God, thanks for Yujie.. such a great leader who is so encouraging! i really need to learn from him on how to counsel n help cg members. i need to really love them n encourage them much more, cos the hard way only helps after much encouraging n stirring them up! also, i need so much more of Your anointing, after realising that today Pak would never have made it if Yujie had not called him n encouraged him with Godly wisdom..

yet i cannot have that anointing if i choose to repeatedly sin against You.

so i pray that i break free from all the bondages of sin! Lord thank You for Your second chance, for forgiving me, for giving me a new hope n a new life! help me to remember, everyday, its You i live for!

God i pray for huimin n kiat, swee keng, jessica, n all the other new frenz who got saved recently, even huzheng though i've not even seen her. haiz.. a bit disappointed that after all the hot air, huimin isn't even coming for svc tml! i thought she was really coming back to You this time round.. was i wrong to think that way? nevertheless i will still keep praying for her n reaching out to her.. as a friend n nothing more.

also i wonder how come i'm suddenly feeling something for someone whom i'm not even supposed to ever ever like..! if i like this person its going to cause serious consequences for everyone.. so i better watch myself. the late night phone call was really not wise!! i'm sorry Lord, i'll keep a better watch over my feelings n decisions.. God You know that its pure foolishness to talk to a sister in Christ over the phone so late at night, help me watch against these silly actions of mine!

i'd rather jus pray n worship You n feel Your peace in my heart! =)

God i pray that You really help me in my upcoming property assignment, its gonna take up like 30% of my entire module, so i really pray that You help me find the right materials to add in the paper, n have enough time to complete it.

also i had a great time of fellowship with wendy n ryan tonight! who would've thought we can grow so close jus after one outing! we're even planning to go to penang together in July! of cos i lift up all these plans into Your hands, we'll go only if its in Your will for us to have a short holiday! haha..

Lord i pray for more wisdom n anointing in conducting myself in school n in church n even in the house, to be more responsible n accountable for my actions. God, really need Your grace n mercy n understanding of the pple around me! i feel like an alien in sch, got very few true frenz, i also dunno why i'm afraid to talk n befriend them normally.. perhaps cos i think that they're all smarter n better looking than me!? i have this big inferiority complex Lord, take tat away from me, or i'll never be able to enter my full destiny in You!

actually to tell the whole truth, i've had this inferiority complex since i was young...

i always think others r better than me, i'm not good enough, i'll never be good enough, etc...

But since You saved me n Jesus You died on the cross for all these negative thoughts, i pray, i nail it there on the cross of calvary as well!! Be gone, inferiority complex! Let the world know, I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me!!

ok peggy's bugging me to go n sleep n yes i am very tired, but also feeling very happy about the cell group n the great fellowship i had with great friends! Father, protect all of us, keep us safe from wrong influences, let us stand strong together not just as Christians, but as true friends. No greater love has one, than to lay down his life for his friends! Jesus You did that for me, i'm doing it for all of them too!

Thank You Jesus! Thanks so much, my Lord...

In Jesus name,


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