Time to change my life. Day 2: Blessings pouring in?

1 Tim 4:14 - do not neglect the gift that is in me! what are the gifts that God has given me for His purposes on earth?

1 Tim 5:1 - do not rebuke an older man. God i'm sorry for being so biased n wrong in my attitude towards leaders n pple who are older than me. especially shawn. i will change my attitude towards leaders n recognise that You placed them in authority over my life..
5:17 - same meaning, God once again reminds me to respect my elders in church.. n to teach the younger members the same thing, to respect leadership, if not how can i teach them something that will cause them to undermine leadership? that is rebellion.. i'm sorry for doing that for the past few months, perhaps causing some to stumble. will not do it again Lord, forgive me n help me to be sharper in the spirit to not say things i should not say, n to say things which i ought to say with boldness.

1 Tim 5:22 - do not share in other people's sins - i.e. do not let other people's sins become my sins! reminds me of what Shawn shared with the cg members over the whole sinhui issue. by encouraging gossip n not stopping pple from saying bad things about the whole matter, i am NOT glorifying God n NOT doing the right thing, n therefore doing the sin of omission! God, help me be quick to edify, rebuke n educate, but be slow in judgement n condemnation. rather, help me to have a forgiving n open heart with a large capacity, so that i can accept n take whatever happens without feeling offended easily. help me be an example to the younger members, to not talk bad about others behind their back, never to sow discord.

1 Tim 5:24 - those of some men follow later. - sins which are clearly evident will cause pple to follow suit in the sin! esp the blatent sins of a leader. God forgive me for breaking my vows time n again n getting too close to Joan, such that young members are learning from us n getting too close at the wrong time.. help me to learn to make strong firm decisions. no more going out with Joan, no more late night phone calls... Jesus help me in this, i can't control my flesh!

Dear God

this is only the second day of my spiritual walk with You, and already You have blessed me with exciting results! thank You for letting me get thru to the finals of the choir audition as well as the zone talentime audition! Lord, i really really want my brother to get saved, he is such a dear brother to me, i want to see him serving the Lord alongside me, in the same cell group, in the same zone, same ministry, becos i think there'll be nothing more satisfying than seeing my brother come to Christ so i can work with him n talk to him on a much deeper level than right now..

i feel so stressed over the coming assignments, i'm even afraid to check my email. God help me, give me the peace of God which surpasses all understanding.. help me to overcome my fears, irrational as they may be. help me help myself, Holy Spirit, stir up in me faith n courage n provide the godly wisdom i need to do all the tasks tat i need to do.

God i also pray for thailand n the troubles there to stop.. taht the pple will really find a good leader to lead the country to God, that the military will stop attacking the govt n undermining its power. i pray for the Christians there to really rise to the occasion n help the needy, to provide hope when there isn't any to be seen. Lord i really want to go for the thailand trip with strikeforce at the end of oct, to really impact the pple there. i don't think there are many Christians in thailand, i really pray that You use us as a means to spread the gospel to the pple there. that when the SF goes there, it will carry the Spirit n power n anointing n the presence of God with them, n its not just a week of performances, but a week of spiritual warfare. Let us be ready to battle against the devil, n spread the gospel thru thailand!

Thank You Lord for giving me 2nd chances time n again, always forgiving me n urging me to move on!

In Jesus name,
Amen

why????????

dear God

maybe You're really right.. i shouldn't have broken my vows time n time again with joan.. cos all she does is really piss me off n make me upset n depressed n sad time n time again..

i don't even know why i'm affected that much.. i mean, i must really love her to be so affected right? i can't even answer that question.. what if i fell in love with the wrong person n because i was too weak to stay true to my vow, n somehow we just aren't meant to be together?

she is trying her best n i know it.. but sometimes, i just feel we're so different... she doesn't understand me as well as other pple.. even close friends like rosa n lena know better than her sometimes... she doesn't seem to know what i'm like, n what i expect from a relationship.. she's so emotionally defunct, i'm always counselling her over something or another.. her family background is like so messed up, her sister is one stupid bitch, her father an irresposible idiot... talk about marrying down.

i don't know why i like her so much.. i hope i don't get hurt by her anymore.

In Jesus name
Amen.

Time to change my life. Day 1: Spiritual Renewal

1 Tim 1-3

1 Tim 1:6-7 - You are speaking about me! Oh Lord, i repent from all those negative gossips and sinful words that hurt people..

1:8 - This is so true Lord! Thank You for this revelation which I can use for my exam paper! "But we know that the law is good if one uses law lawfully"!

2:2 - "For kings and all who are in authority.." - Always pray for the leaders of Singapore!

2:8 - Lift up my hands "without wrath and doubting"! when I pray, do i really believe Your Word or am i merely going thru a formality? Doubt and faith cannot co-exist! Wrath and peace of God cannot co-exist!

3:1-7 - Thank You, this is really a Word in season! The Bible can really speak into my life! I will meditate on these verses for the week! Amen!

3:16 - What does it really mean Lord?

Dear Lord,

As i truly begin my spiritual life anew once again, I really thank You for being here to answer my prayers! i really like what the Bible says, we know the law is good if one uses if lawfully. This really explains so many things, not just help me in my exam paper, but it really makes me understand why Shawn has to be "legalistic" with the cg members. That the law, although we are no longer bound by it, has its purpose to serve to teach n disciple us. Jesus came not to break the law or destroy the law, but He came to fulfil the law! i.e. Jesus, You are the only one who is able to fulfil all the laws!

But i have questions for You. Is to be blameless the same as being sinless? For how can man be sinless even if he has accepted Christ? Because we are all still humans, we are made of flesh n bone, n the flesh will always cause us to sin.. Lord help me understand this point. I want to be able to stand blameless before God one day.

This is my spiritual diary for the day, thank You Lord for helping me!

In Jesus name,
Amen.

going to try to get my life back on track with You..

Dear Lord

I'm gonna call shawn in a while, hoping that he'll be able to guide me n disciple me as i make a decision to open up to him...

God i really really want to come back to the heart of worship, i really want to live a pure life for You and only You alone... i don't know why all this happened, whats happening in my life, whats happening to me... i really didn't mean for any of this to happen...

I'm sorry Lord for the things i've made it when its all about You... Its all about You, Jesus...

I'm sorry God. Forgive me n help me to change. I want to change!

In Jesus name,
Amen!

Goodbye Jessie.. See ya around Lena, but not too often...

Dear Lord

Things have been really straining recently. I don't like pple who make comments or say things about me without first understanding what I mean. If they don't get what I mean, they can always ask questions without trying to intepret what they think I mean and then try to rebut me and imply things which I didn't mean. This kind of pple do little more than show how immature they are and how pointless it is to try to talk sense into them. So in order for me not to get annoyed with such defensive and whiney people, my solution is just to simply cut them out of my life.

Yeah sure I'll lose a few friends. But them again, I'll gain some more. Friends come and go, only real friends remain.