Arthur's Birthday!

Dear Lord

Today was a really great day! Thank You for everything good that happened today. Despite the nightmare of the previous day, Arthur's birthday celebration with the strikeforce pple really made me feel so happy n relaxed. I mean its his birthday, You blessed him with gifts n a group of really good close friends, but as You bless him, you blessed me so the same group of friends as well!

The people present at the dinner were of cos Arthur, Edwin, Joan, Millie, Kaishing, Darshan, Peggy, Sharlyn, Daryl, me and of cos Yishan, the would-be girlfriend of Arthur! man, she looks sweet n innocent n very "guai" at first glance, but boy can she really suan pple! she really reminded me a lot of eunice. by the way Lord she is looking really thin n haggard the last time i saw her, i do hope she's alright. i believe yongji is treating her well, buying an expensive hp for her n all, but i hope she eats properly n puts on some more weight!

Anyway back to the dinner at pizza hut. it was really fun! i can't believe i found such a group of funny interesting caring n friendly pple. i really pray that this group of friends stands the tests of time n we r able to help each other draw closer to You in our daily lives throughout the years. though i'm not really that close to darshan n kaishing yet, i feel today's dinner has changed that. haha... i feel so blessed to be part of this group of friends, most of them on fire Christians! that's really the most important, we can talk about God n christian songs n have more than just casual friendship connections: we can communicate spirit to spirt on another level. i think that You are pleased when Your pple come together to meet like that in a joyous spirit. i guess this is a little taste of heaven on earth. Thank You Lord for such wonderful pple, good food (except for the seafood supreme which tasted horrible) n a good time! it shows we don't need wordly activities or drugs or booze to have a good time, what we need is pple with good clean standards to have a ball of a fun time!

I really pray that our cell group members can come to this mature level, where there are no crude jokes n they have genuine good clean godly fun times with each other. i do believe that i somehow have a large role to play in changing their minds n lifestyles, but they also need to read the Bible n get more serious in their walk with You. Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks, if they speak dirty things means their minds are filled with dirty thoughts. Help us all breakthru bad habits to come to a level of purity before You!

In Jesus name,
Amen.

God i think i'm gonna cry...

Lord,

i finally realised tml is really the last time our cell group is gonna be together! i'm going to miss all those who're not gonna go with me.. especially mikki.. she's really been such a wonderful nice girl.. i should've spent more time fellowshipping with her.. n also those bunch of wacky guys who always have something funny to say.. gonna miss them like crazy.. knowk, who brought mark n bowen, who brought weizhong.. these guys are really interesting n spark up my life! even pple like alrick, daryl, jaric.. even the pple i hardly know like xiangling n nic.. gonna miss them so much n somehow i feel that once we multiply.. i don't think our friendship would ever be the same again..

thank You for a wonderful cell group Lord. though i whine n complain about them sometimes, n we've been through some tough times.. i love them with all my heart. feel kind of sad to be leaving some of them.. but i guess it is in Your will to bring more growth into the kingdom! let Your will be done.

In Jesus name i pray,
Amen.

Dedication to beloved members of N280!

Dear Lord

I just came back from McCafe with joan clarence small kenneth n mikki. Its been so long since i had such a nice time just chilling out with them! especially my dear little mikki. i've really missed talking to her so much. its like, when she's rising up as a cell group leader, i somehow feel less able to talk to her as a friend in front of everyone, n i need to address her with more respect. but when we're together just with a few close friends, we can suddenly talk about stuff in the old ways again. so weird.

ok before i get carried away with talking about the latest happenings in the cell group, kenneth n yien, bk n michelle lim, clarence and sinhui (again!!), clarence n amelie, etc, i think i better write what i need to write. God this letter is for them, to tell them how much i'll miss them n how much a difference they've made in my life. sure there's good times n bad times, but somehow i remember the good times better. haha...

I pray that as I write my thanks n feelings for each one of them, that You come n bless our relationship n make our friendship bonds strong. let noone backslide, n every single one of N280 members grow closer to You in 2007, n bring back all the backsliders! bless all these children of Yours abundantly Lord, fill them with the Holy Spirit who will guide them in wisdom n creativity n knowledge. Love them as they love You even more day by day. God, i really love them so much, i really regret not having the chance to fellowship with them more often thru out 2006, for literally ignoring the friendships in the cell group for other things, like Joan n strikeforce. but without them, i wouldn't even be in church anymore, so thank You for placing these pple in my life.

Joan - erm, i think i don't have to elaborate too much on this girl who walked into my life n made me feel like i was in the arms of an angel. a little feeling of heaven on earth is when i look into her eyes, n i feel she's looking at me in pure adoration, i really feel so loved. but all the lovey-dovey stuff aside, thank You for such a great friend who constantly encourages me almost every single day, i pray You grant her wisdom n maturity in her thinking, as she needs to make some major life-changing decisions for her life this year. God i pray You bless our relationship with each other, i really want You to be the center of our relationship when we do get attached. i know i messed up big time for the past year, but i will complete my vow in honesty n sincerity. i pray that You use her in the cg she goes to, let her exercise her spirit of discernment n leadership skills once again, to disciple others in Your ways. she has much potential, forgive me for burying it. Its time for her to shine for You in her own way this year.

Mikki - what can i say about this girl who's simply so amazing n doing such great things for You! God i love her as a member but more than that, as a girl who will always stand strong n do the right thing, not afraid to stand up for whats right even if its painful to her n others. i really see so much potential in her, she has so much to acomplish for You! always let her enjoy Your presence n strengthen her daily in her job n quiet time. give her the favour of men n of God, so that she would be able to lead better n be a natural inspiration to the members around her. i know that Mikki is one girl i'll always remember to hold dear in my heart, as a little sister, as a good friend. she's simply so cute n adorable! make her stay that way, but also give her a sense of authority n anoint her that she may lead more pple to You!

Clarence - from silent aloof breaker to chatty funny nice guy! i've seen him thru some changes in his life, so thank You for using me to impact him. give him a greater vision n show him his destiny in You Lord! there's so many things he can do, if only he can grasp hold of the vision from You! let him grow wiser in his speech, knowing what kind of words to say and what not to. talk to Him through his daily prayers, show him that You are real, n You really do care about his lifen his dreans, n his desires. time to move forward with You!

Michelle Lim - someone whom i initially had a little awkwardness talking to, but somehow or other, chatted for over 2 hours last week! she has a great voice, i pray You continue to inspire her to rise up in choir n even in the band, as she strives to improve her voice n music knowledge. also as guys tend to like her, keep her mind focused on You! show her so much love that she doesn't need to find security in another guy until the right time for her, which is probably a long way to go. actually i noticed her way back in 2004 when we were playing some zone games at marina bay n thought that she was quite pretty n nice girl, but didn't even know her name until 2005 or so. haha.. Lord let our relationship in the band grow strong so we can flow as one to write songs for You n shine in the music industry!

Sweekeng - one of my most outstanding guitar students! although i gave a guitar class to about 3-4 pple back at jurong west, none of them progress as fast as him! he probably has mastered guitar skills more than me, but he needs to realise the reason why he is learning music, is not to show off his musical talent, but so that he is able to serve You more. that is the only worry i have for him, that he's using music as a way to escape from his problems in life. Lord bless his family situation, give him a calmer temper n a soft tongue. Speak to Him from the Word, he who is slow to wrath is a man of great understanding. let him realise the meaning of ministry is to serve, n not to be served. he's a good friend too.

Boon Kiat - God, this guy is really a very nice guy, but please guide him on the right path! give him understanding and wisdom. Your Word says fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. speak to him about the reverence n fear that he lacks for You, that he needs to change much of his character n mindset if he is to become a man of God. and i so believe he can make it! he has the natural charisma of an evangelist! but he needs to know his priorities.. i pray that You send someone to teach him n lead him in his life, someone who can do a better job than what i did.

Daryl - Lord i still count him as a member of the cell group though i feel that he isn't really coming for the Word but for the friendship. yet i somehow sense that he yearns to know You more. i pray that he becomes more open to sharing about his life to his church leaders, that he has a real living relationship n prayer life with You, not just reading the Bible as stories n words, but a real conversation with You that will impact his life. life is more than games n guns! show him his potential in the cell group, inspire him to live for You n not for games.

Jaric - somehow i think that he's really keen to come back but under the wrong influence. Father i pray that You send more good christian friends into his life to really get into his life n spend time with him n teach him more of the Word. i pray that he comes back to church n cell group soon as well, that he will not feel condemned or guilty or anything bad, but that he has the determination to put You first in his life. afterall, scolding him doesn't feel good becos i consider him a friend. let him know that..

Phebe - she's really an interesting girl, despite causing some problems earlier last year. i really want to get to know her better as a friend, but i also hope that she finds a greater love for You in her life, not just to You but to Your pple in the new cell group as well, despite her job n studies. she is really a smart girl, i pray that she uses her talents even more to shine for You in her life. happy birthday to her too!

Amelie - so sorry that i don't have the time to really talk to you n get into your life! Lord, Amelie is really another super nice n sweet innocent looking girl, who despite her insecurities n worries, would make a good friend whom anyone would confide in. Lord i pray You give her more confidence in herself, give her an ego boost! let her know that her talents are far too valuable to be left sitting on the shelf! i pray that she goes about her life with more assurance of her faith, with a more forgiving attitude, with less anxiety n more trust in You!

Yien - haha i really dunno how to describe my friendship with this girl, sometimes feel a bit weird talking to her cos she's like so different! yet i think we enjoy talking n fellowshipping, n i simply think she's so cool n stylish in her dressing! haha.. but still Lord i pray that she knows why she's coming n not only that, she matures n grows up to chew on solid doctrine. she also has potential as an evangelist, n to shine for You in the market place in cosplay events! she's a bit lazy n slack though, teach her about the ant in Proverbs! bring friends into her life to push her n disciple her more Lord.

Shawn - God this guy has been one heck of an impact in my life, since meeting him at the Israel trip in 2004! confrontations aside, he's a really good leader n friend, n i pray that i can open up more to him even as he may or may not be my leader anymore. Lord let me learn from him how to balance my life n work hard n not let my emotions n laziness affect my walk with You! he's been such a patient n caring leader, i've been such a difficult member to deal with, i'm sorry shaun for all the problems i've caused you! i will always consider him a great leader in my books, n he will be a great lawyer who will impact the marketplace n bring Christ into culture!

thank You for all these friends in my life Lord, my life wouldn't be so colourful n interesting if it wasn't for these pple! bless them all in their family n relationships, in their jobs n studies, in their ministry n their walk with You, let them all grow into mature sons n daughters of God! let them know that i love them all dearly, that no matter what happens You'll be there for them, n i hope i can be there with them too, standing by their side whenever they need me.

In Jesus name i pray,
AMEN!

Knights Of the Royal Priesthood 1

Almost one month has passed since the end of the End of Days saga. Finally it seemed that the earth would once more be safe from demonic creatures and God's judgement upon the earth was delayed, giving humanity another chance to realise its wicked ways and turn to the Lord for salvation.

What? Don't tell me you missed out the last few exciting months, where the brave Grifter and Samuel Wolfwood joined the ranks of the Shinigami and penetrated the gates of hell, attacking the very source of evil at its heart? Did you miss out on the climatic finale battles that occured simultaneously on earth as the remaining survivors battled huge waves of monstrous creatures, demons, menos and the undead, even as Grifter led his small team of heroes into a seemingly suicidal attempt to defeat Satan?

What a pity. You've missed much, my friends. But to cut a long story short, at the end of the day, at the cost of many lives no doubt, good always triumphs over evil. There would always be a remnant because God is a merciful God. Though He did not play an active role, many things were inspired or caused indirectly by Him or in accordance with His will. And because the humans have proven themselves worthy of brave sacrificial acts akin to those of the Son of God, there was a new hope that all of mankind could be saved eventually, and judgement day was postponed.

And yet, the poor vile forgetful humans soon plunged into their materialistic, narcissistic world once again.

Countries which had been ravaged by the Endtime disaster soon began to recover. Buildings were rebuilt, trade commenced. Although many proclaimed a new age of peace and calm for mankind, the sin in the sinners soon reared its ugly head.

In this post-endtimes age, technology improved by leaps and bounds. Powerful governments competed for resources and territory, raging wars across desserts, oceans, even space. Even as weapons of mass destruction were abandoned so that the earth would be free from being totally annihilated, deadlier weapons of precision damage were invented. Biological weapons were the rage of the day, as were lazer and nano weapons.

But there was no peace for the citizens either. Even as the corrupt governments battled over resources and land, crime lords began to prosper. It would seem that humans somehow found its way into gambling, alcoholism, drugs and gangsterism, at no matter what level of society. Businesses grew because of firepower, hit men and mercenaries sprouted in every city. Private armies became popular as suspicion and distrust grew to the point of exploding. Racism, hate-crimes, prostitution and all sorts of criminal activity flourished in the major cities. The people seem to have forgotten that not so long ago, all of humanity joined together against a common enemy, a supernatural enemy that could have wiped out all traces of living things.

They seem to have forgotten the thousands of lives that were sacrificed so that man could carry on living on the earth. They forgot the heroes who inspired them in the darkest hours, they forgot the reason they fought so hard to survive. They forgot the One who restrained His hand from destroying them all, should evil prevail after the Endtimes. Despite winning over the devil himself, mankind seemed doomed to fall even deeper in sin, perhaps attempting to replace hell with earth, or rather to meld the two places so that in death one could not tell the difference! Bullets of man and the blazes of hell didn't seem too different after all.

It was a time where suffering filled the earth, and the people called out for heroes, saviours.

But there was none to be found on this planet, not this time. So...

******

Jan 24th 2007, 2.03 am on a Wednesday morning.

"..alright then.. we'll meet up on saturday to practice the rest of the songs for the wedding! bye!"

Weiwen hanged up. Finally his dream of setting up a band was coming true! No doubt it took a long time to find his band members, but they had a gig coming up in march, and it was quite a big one. 190 pple would be attending! He was simply too excited for words. Yeah well, at 25 years old, he seemed a little too old to still be in love with rock music. Especially when he was about to become a lawyer! Nobody would want to be a musician in singapore, where musicians bite the dust most of the time. (Unlike some stupid Korean pop stars like Rain, who can't sing, can't speak properly, and can only frolick around on the stage with plenty of gimmicks to trick young girls' money.)

Suddenly, his handphone vibrated and the screen flashed. He had a message.

"Hi Weiwen. Do you remember you prayed let My will be done? This is your chance to fulfil your prayer... who is this guy?? i don't remember telling anyone about what i prayed last night.. what the heck.. 777-7777? what number is this??"

Great, he thought. I think i've watched Bruce Almighty too many times last year. Time to turn in, got a long day at school tomorrow.. But first i think i'll chat a bit with my band members online.

"Hey arthur.. how's the bass guitar that you bought? You know i had a really strange message just now on my handphone! totally weird man!"

"Huh? really ah? just now i also got a SMS from some weird number... all 7! so funny sia.."

"What?? You mean both of you also got that message? but quite scary leh, the person message me also!"

Edwin and Arthur also had the strange message from the weird number. What was going on?

******

To be continued

What a nice sermon!

Dear God

my stomach feels a bit painful now.. think its cos i ate the food without heating it up. but anyway i think it'll be alright..

tml is gonna be my real first day of school. haha.. it seems so weird, that i'm actually 24 years old and still afraid of going to school. but then i do have my reasons for feeling that way.

God, i really hate being so double-minded n unstable in my thinking. one moment i can be enjoying Your presence worshipping in church, the next i can be spewing vulgarities out of my mouth, like its nobody's business.

God i'm sorry for losing my temper at joan again. i really do love her a lot, but i expect her to keep promises n secrets too. in fact i'd trust most pple until they prove me wrong.

anyway i am sorry for sinning again this morning just before i went to service. i mean, to do that kind of thing before going church, is plain sick. eunice was mentioning that she needed psychiatric help. i think she's just overreacting, but God i mayb be the one in need of some mental help!!

there're pple lying all around me. liars seems to be everywhere these days, i wonder who can i trust. no wonder the song goes, "whom have i in heaven but You" cos the way things are going, i doubt many pple can actually make it to heaven!

haha.. but seriously though, i've been so bitterly disappointed. n to be honest, i don't feel very much like being the nice guy whom everyone thinks i am.

God one of my dreams this year is to have a 200-strong audience at my party / concert. n i have to get a venue, a nice big place, book the food n prepare the logistics. i wonder if it will actually happen. God is this party in Your will? can i use it to glorify You in anyway or is it just my selfish desire to be a star for a day?

perhaps its just my personal desire. oh well...

i'm tired n i gotta wake up in less than 5 hours time but i just can't sleep. heal my stomachache Lord, its really getting painful

In Jesus name,
Amen

last thing on my mind is God...

who am i writing to when i blog?

is it really to God?

sometime when i read my previous blogs, its as if i'm writing for the sake of writing. not to anyone in particular, but also to everyone in particular.

in fact at the very end of the day, the last thing on my mind is God. i know He should be the first thing on my mind, but somehow, i just don't see the point anymore.

time to really get in touch with school work once again. sighz...

oh, n i cried last night cos of Joan. just can't stand her making remarks about getting another boyfriend. why does she have to be so immatured? i mean liting is only 18 years old, if she wanna make comments about cute guys its ok. furthermore, she only said they're cute n they have nice hair n dressing, she didn't mention anything about having them for boyfriend. i really get super annoyed when joan tried to catch my attention with words like that. honestly, if she really wanted to get another boyfriend, then let her go ahead.

life sucks. period.

First blog of the year 2007!

Dear God

Happy new year! Its 2007! I can't believe time flies by soooo fast. Its still as if I just finished my A levels and suddenly poof! I'm about to enter the working world.

Firstly, things to be thankful for in 2006.

I remember millie telling me that she really has nothing much to be thankful for in 2006 except for the strikeforce overseas trips that she went for. To be completely honest, thats what i'd have said a few days ago as well. But thank You for being such a wonderful God n a blessing in my life, that when i finally mustered the guts to check my results, i actually did pretty ok. Not good results, but i'm thankful just not to fail anything else! God You have no idea (actually, You probably already know) of the nightmare December 2006 has been! every night i'm practically unable to sleep because i was so worried about my results. i kept thinking that i would fail another subject and i would've to take 7 modules, n my whole 2007 would start off in a depressed n overworked state!

Thank God things worked out for me because of Your grace.

One more matter to settle.. the building fund. i know i promised $2500 in total over 6 months, yet for nov n dec i've already fallen short by about $500. I intend to give another $100 this sunday. And when my dad gives me my allowance for Jan (thank God he's increasing it to $500 a month) i'll immediately put in $300. I promise! God i've calculated that 2500 divided by 6 months is about 420 right? so if every month i give 200 out of my allowance, plus the entire of my tuition pay (assuming i get 30x8=240 from shaun and 25x4=100 from yihuei, so total of 340) i should be able to cover everything i've missed from nov to dec, and possibly even finish my BF before the final month. is it possible? i want to believe that its possible God.

With God, all things are possible.

Thank You also for the close friends from strikeforce like millie, edwin, arthur, neo. its so surprising that my closest friends this year are not from my own cell group but from my ministry. Haha.

And of cos i thank You for Joan. yes no doubt she's really distracted me from my vow and it is really displeasing to You, i still want to thank You for her becos she's really made a big difference in my life. Many times in 2006 i wanted to give up on a lot of things, i even want to quit the whole church thing and go back to my worldly ways. i think You know better than anyone how badly i've backslided in 2006, so much to the point that i missed 3 weeks of service in 2 months. i didn't even know about it until shawn pointed it out to me.

God thats one of my goals for 2007. to really get back my roots into my relationship with You.

I'll write more after I disinfect my com, it appears to have some viruses.