Thursday, March 30, 2006

Interesting day, to say the least!

Dear God,

Its been a really interesting day today. Didn't really begin the day well, forgive me for a lousy morning, but as the day went on, it just got better and better. Hehz. I really need You to help me with my Biomedical assignment, I just don't know where to start. Seems to be the main problem with me.. In many areas of my life, I just sort of stumbled and can't seem to get started. My walk with God, my school work, my ministry and dreams...

But then, You are a God of new beginnings. Every step I take, is a step of faith. The substance of things hoped for, things unseen.

Anyway had a great day today, meeting up with Yixing, Tenny, Beng while in school.

Then had a wonderful dinner with Christine. Oh wow, i can't believe that even now, whenever i meet her i can't help but wonder how beautiful she is and yet how down to earth and friendly and sweet she can be! She's really one of the first girls i met who is pretty and yet doesn't really use her looks to her advantage, or rather use her looks to take advantage of guys. she doesn't hang out with good looking guys or try to be vain (in fact she decided to stop wearing contacts and wore glasses today! haha) but just be who she is. caught up with a lot of issues, with mutual friends, about working life and about a million things. then went window shopping.. actually could tell that both of us weren't really interested in shopping, but rather catching up on each other's lives.. the last time we met was in December! Can't imagine she used to be one of my best buddies.. we used to go clubbing together almost every weekend while i was in NS.. but now i hardly get to see her. She's attached and working full time, i'm busy with church and studies and evangelism and all that.. God i really pray she comes to Christ soon! she'd make a great leader for You. let me be the one who reaches out to her, don't ever let me forget that she is a good friend i can trust.

Then after that, she actually joined me while i played CS and warcraft with yongqiang, lewis and yangshuo! haha! had a totally fun time with them, its been MONTHS since i last had an outing with friends to go gaming! and not just normal friends too, but close friends!

God, this is how it should be. a group of close friends enjoying each other's company while having good clean fun. this is how cell group members should be!

Lewis is my ex-cg member, n has been a good friend to me for about 4-5 years i think. same passion for Christ, passion for music and singing, passion for guns and games! hahaha... Thank You for putting such a friend into my life. pls ease his heart and let him forgive himself, and forget the past, and all the sad things that has happened, God, encourage him to move on! Let the past not bother him, and let him be free to trust and love again.

Yangshuo hasn't been around in church for sometime. i still remember the time where he represented China while singing Crossing Over at the indoor stadium! i pray that he comes this weekend, that he remembers those precious moments when You touched his heart to the very core, where he cried tears of passion for You.

Even for myself, its been such a long time since i last really worshipped You for a good couple of hours, without distractions, without worry and without thinking about other things..

Oh yes, Janice also apologised for her behaviour this morning, even as i apologised for being a little harsh on her.. she msged me that she still love me the most as her daddy.. oh God i almost cried when i read that. Nothing beats getting such a sms from a friend, knowing that you've impacted someone's life. God i wonder is that how You feel when i tell You that i still love You the most? Do You cry tears of joy whenever i put away my sin and repent and say that inspite of all things, all I need is You, all i want is You?

It is trust.. A father's love for a child is one of the mysteries of the world. Your love for me is something that cannot be understood, but can only be accepted and experienced... thank You God. for trusting me time and time again, as i hurt You and betray You and sin. thank You for forgiving me, for giving me new hope!

I love You, all of my hope is in You.
Jesus Christ take my life, take all of me.

In Your name i pray,
Amen

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Crossing the line is not a one time event!

I pick up the large wooden cross once again. It's heavy weight felt a little foreign to me, yet at the same time a peculiar familiar feeling went straight to my heart as well. Lord, it's so heavy, will I be able to lift it up and carry it once again?

Flash back to the past.

I had high hopes of becoming a musician, a cell group leader, a performing artiste, a top law student, a financial provider to the people around me. I had nothing on my back but the clothes I wore and a leather-backed booked as my only guide. The Bible - the one book that speaks a thousand different words each time I read it.

Then in the pursuit of God's goals, I dropped the cross to pursue my own goals. The lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life. Right things at the wrong time, right things at the wrong place. Fighting battles I should not have gotten myself into. Losing battles I should be winning. Letting the cross fall to the ground, not caring about what happens.

But it doesn't matter anymore. How many times did Jesus falter while carrying the cross to the top of Calvary? How many times did the pain in his body and the pain in his heart for the people cause Him to almost fall? But He still carried on, till the end. He knew His purpose and His Father's purpose.

I know my Father's destiny is one of greatness for me. Why should I remain at mediocrity?

I know my God shall make me the head and not the tail. Why should I cower in fear and draw back in adversity?

I know that I need to cross the line, and pick up the cross once again. And even if I fall, for all fall short of the glory of God, I will struggle to get up again.

And Your hand is always there to boost me up, to lift me up.

I will fly once again on eagles wings, once the wounds have healed and mended. I will do what You have called me to do.

Amen!

Monday, March 13, 2006

End of Days 12 - The Army of God strikes!

While the various teams and players in the final game of mankind struggled to survive and fight on, the evil one plotted and schemed against all of them, sending out minions by the thousands onto the earth, giant monstrous lizard-like creatures, enormous pit-bulls that breathed fire, and he pondered.. should he finally release the Half-breeds? They were.. difficult to control.. no, not difficult, but almost beyond even his control. Locked in the depths of hell by the original angel of worship himself, the Half-breeds were his creations who turned out to be extremely powerful allies, but then turned against him and everyone and everything, becoming savage warmachines who lived only for death and destruction, knowing neither friend nor foe, killing allies and enemies alike. They had been imprisoned not by him, but by the One above. Yet he had the key to release them.

"Hahaha.." He laughed in a sinister low voice. "Sometimes I really wonder why is it You make those decisions that You always do.. When will You learn, that humans will never learn to come to You? When will You finally let us return to our normal form?? I will destroy them before Your eyes! I will show You how weak they are!! They are WEAK and will be DESTROYED!!"

*******

After some fighting and adrenaline pumping events, the teams finally returned to the base at the titanium clad fortress. Samuel Wolfwood and Vash the Grifter saw each other and a smile formed on their battle-weary faces. Rachel and Destiny ran out to greet them, only to be shocked by the number of casualties and injured that they had brought in. The 2 teams Alpha and Beta had returned from their escapades and brought back more than just supplies. More than a hundred civilians were brought back, either in vechicles, or running behind the armoured vehicles. Those who were still relatively uninjured were running out of breath and fell to the ground, collasping at the sight of their salvation and safe haven. They gave shouts of joy, thanking God for the place where they would finally be safe from the monstrousities. At least, for the moment, they could rest without worrying about flesh eating monsters, raging fires, exploding gas lines and other hazards.

"Alright!" Vash cried out. "Gather the fighters! We're gonna sweep out this city!"

Swen asked him, "What'd you mean? What are we gonnna do?"

"Its time we let them know who they're dealing with! Thats what he means!!" Bourne hoisted his Big Fat Gun and reloaded.

The rest of the team quickly assembled, leaving Pst Charmaine to arrange for the care of the wounded. Strong looking men were quickly chosen from the civilians to take over the defence of the church while the remaining fighters took up their positions for an all out attack at the monsters that threatened to overrun and destroy the once-beautiful and peaceful island of Singapore!

"Team Alpha!!" yelled Vash. The hit-and-run supply squad who had already faced off against a couple of giant godzilla-like creatures assembled.

"Yeah! All here and reloaded!!" Turtle Teo, Swen King, Bourne Kiatz, Kenneth Watanabe, Clarence Coleman, and Yangshuo stood in their machines or vechicles, armed to the teeth.

"Team Beta!!" yelled Samuel. The rescue squad who had picked up several more fighters along their missions, quickly fell into position.

"We're here and ready to rock!!" Jeremiah, George, Shilpa, Mikki, Small Ken, Gloria the Sniper, Jiacholate, Jordan, and Shashi quickly gulped down some refreshing drinks and prepared to head out once again.

"Team Omega.. I need you guys to be my backup, so Destiny, you'll lead this team." Vash announced. Destiny shot him a look of uneasiness, which was met by a confident grin by Vash. In his heart he thought: you can do it. Trust in what God can do through you.

"Yup, lock and load!" Lionhartz, Shawn, Renee and Meryl were agreeable to Destiny's leadership.

But just as they were about to strategize their attack, "honk honk!!" a bus horn honked, and a voice cried out from the gate. "We're here to help!! Open up the gates!!"

Vash and Samuel glanced at the gate to their pleasant surprise!

Aileen, Ivan, Miranda and a about 6 of their members had somehow managed to band together in the midst of the chaos and miraculously pulled through the disaster and made their way to the church! They poured out of the damaged school bus, dressed in battle gear and carrying small arms of pistols and knives. Not bad for a bunch of novices, Vash thought.

"Can we fight too?" A sharp shrill voice asked, and Vash had to shiver in annoyance, but in his heart he knew he was all too eager to enlist more soldiers in the battle.

Michelle "Mad" Fong, Aparna, Christine Qingni emerged from the staircase closest to the gate. Clearly though not battle-hardened as the rest, these girls wanted a part to play in the fight too.

Samuel turned to Vash, "Well, isn't this an interesting turn of events.. But we need the guys to get into the fight as well! Where's the commandos or Naval Divers who're supposed to be so tough? Haha.."

"Didn't even hear us coming did you? Leaders ought to be more alert."

Samuel turned around and drew his magnum, only to have a silenced USP stare at him point blank in the face. But it was no enemy who held the stealthy weapon.

"Faji 'the muscle man' Rambo! Edwin! Charles Chow! KK (Kenneth Kwok)!!" Samuel exclaimed in utter surprise.

The 4 muscular men were draped head to toe in dark camo jungle uniform, and had actually came out from the smoke and debris, parked their armoured buggy in a corner, jumping over the electrified fence and walked in totally unnoticed by anyone! That's stealth for you!

KK spoke in a serious tone. "There were more of us... a few of our comrades perished on the way here.. but we're here to pass you a message from General Kevin. He said he would begin to lauch a full scale assault all the way from Bukit Timah in the army bases, all the way until he reaches the church, and hopes that you and your fighting force would join him in eliminating all threats to the nation. We are assisted by Colonel Jaric of the 42nd Armoured Division and Captain Daryl of the airforce who are waiting for the signal to begin the assault.. General kevin has already begun his advance at 1500 hours.. That's about half an hour ago. What is your reply sir?"

Vash grinned. A friend in need is a friend indeed, he thought. "Tell him, we'll meet him in a while, and we'll be bringing lots of backup should he need any."

The 4 commandoes' faces lit up as KK, the communications officer, quickly relayed the message back to his military commander. Rambo Faji said, " And while we're here, we might as well fight alongside you. It'll be an honour to fight beside the Knights of the Royal Priesthood leaders."

Vash raised an eyebrow. "You.. know about that?"

Rambo Faji grinned. "guess you guys aren't covert as you'd like to believe."

"Yup, you guys certainly don't greet new members of the KOPR like we expected." A suave tall gentleman with a stocky friend stood beside him, apparently having emerged from the pool of civilians in the basement.

Vash almost couldn't believe his eyes. His old CS gaming buddy and choir member Lewis Ichigo, and fellowship KORP leader who went missing in a mission 2 years ago, Jeffrey! Vash and Lewis gave each other a hug and Vash handed over a sleek H&K sniper rifle to him. He knew if Lewis liked to shoot, this'd be the gun for him. Jeffrey, the one person he would count to to save his @$$ whenever his overconfidence or laziness caused him to fumble, once more, seemed to show up just in time to save him once again! Jeff merely nodded his head slightly, and picked up a bulky machine gun to his liking from the stack of weapons in the corner. A man of few words, he prefered to let the bullets do the talking.

This amounted to a surprising large figure of 40 warriors. From break dancers to lawyers to commados to rouge scientists to school teachers to aviation engineers, this was indeed the most rag-tag bunch of fighters a leader could have, and Vash was proud of them. He jumped onto the shoulder of Samuel's Mechwarrior and signalled him to make the machine stand.

With a "whhrrr!!", "vvvrrroooom!!" and a few clicks of machinery, the small army of warriors prepared their Mechwarriors, fighting vehicles, Dead-Reckoning, armoured cars, motorbikes, and other equipment.

"Let's go."

*******

Some miles across the country, Colonel Jaric and General Kevin were viewing the battle from a Black Hawk, as their battalion of tanks rolled over throngs of zombies and blasted others to oblivion. As soon as a stronghold was secured, 5-toners rolled in with hundred of troops, who quickly barricaded and strengthened the defences of the area, before sweeping into the buildings and killing the remaining monsters in a clean-sweep operation. A little further down in front of the tanks, the 4 Apache helicopters were dealing massive damage to the landscape, while taking down the giant lizards. The flying tanks were too high in the sky above the reach of the leathery monsters, and rained missiles and bullets on the loathesome creaturs.

"Sir, Captain Daryl reports that the latest air strike at a nucleus of activity has been successful."

Still, in the midst of the reports of victories, General Kevin was getting a little nervous. More and more of those "nucleus of activity" had been springing up. These were little more than places where large numbers of giant lizards had been spotted, seeming to just emerge from the ground! Of late, fire-breathing hell hounds, the size of tigers have been reported to be running wild through the devastation as well, not to mention larger, stronger zombies which have learnt to weld primitive weapons like knives and axes. He had already lost about 15 men out of his 500. A small number no doubt, but every man was needed to win this war. He flicked his pen and started to write more instructions and combat strategies... the latest news that the KORPs had been roped into the fight had been a relief of sorts, giving him reason to form the hint of a smile, but he had the uneasy feeling that things were about to get much worse...

All hell was about to break lose.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

I enjoyed the company, if not the movie.

since u so flamboyantly and unreservedly insinuated me to dedicate another entry to you after being painfully nice and compromising today, i shall once again stand up to the occasion and fulfil your wish. hehz...

honestly, i thought the movie wasn't too bad! i mean come on, you laughed! i was laughing like crazy at certain parts, though some parts were so horrific and gross, final destination seemed like a happy tree friends cartoon, haha.. for those who want to laugh at corny, slapstick jokes, and who simply adore the oh-so-cute alysson hannigan, go catch Date Movie. oh yeah, a hot chick in it doesn't hurt too! wahahaha..

but ok, less about the movie, more about the nice little things that a young wealthy aristocrat did for me so unselfishly, you'd have to admire her for going out with some low-life like me. (ahem.)

yeah, so basically she wanted to watch Crash, some oscar winning racist/political movie with Matt Dillion in it, but by the time she called, only the first 2 rows were available, so I was like, no way, let's go PS catch another show. So there we were, at the ticketing booth pondering on what show, (ok not so much as pondering, but a little bickering and wrangling at what shows are worth watching.. but point to note is that even though she's afraid of watching horror shows, she actually didn't mind catching Dorm. one brownie point for her. Maybe I'll cancel that strike from last nite's conversation. hehz) when she finally gave in to what I wanted to watch.

Hey if you are reading this, you are displaying behaviour so radically different from what you sprouted last night, "i don't compromise, blah blah blah", but deep inside you know you're just a nice person. haha!

And as if to prove her point of how magnanimous she intended to be, she let me choose the flavour of popcorn and drink, and even allowed me to finish the whole ben n jerry's ice cream! wah haha.. (and this was were she mentioned so discreetly that perhaps it will help put her on my wonderful blog once again, haha! Hey i kept my end of the bargain alright? So i'm definitely not going to those old cinemas where the "chi kopeh" old men go to watch soft porn movies unless you pay for my facial disguise or something.)

And to wrap things up for the day, she SMSed the usual once again, i think i'll immortalise it (depending on how long the internet will last, haha) in my blog.

"I enjoyed the company, if not the movie."

Oh man, is that one of the most non-commital, non-opinionated, confusion-causing statements of all time? I bet she uses that line for all the friends she watches movies with. haha.

time to sleep. busy day tml.. 2 bible studies in a day, lunch with eunice n tuition at night.

Good night ya all..

Friday, March 10, 2006

half an hour till family law tutorial... sianz...

my first tutorial.. argh..

really sian man.. dunno why i keep missing school this whole year! been missing school so much cos of fear of lagging behind in class, so keep doing own self study, which isn't really helpful...

right.. another 20 mins till lesson.. i will go this time, even if kena scolding from the teacher...

haiz...

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

what a creepy dream!

dunno what's the meaning of that super creepy dream i had 2 days ago, so realistic that i woke up from it with a fright! n it was about 4 am in the night when i woke up. had this dream, or should i say nightmare, that me n some sf pple were sleeping outdoors cos we were on the run or something.. then one by one they all left until i was alone, n i was like, trying to sleep on the concrete ground with the wind blowing n leaves rustling n all that, when i saw someone else lying on the ground along the corridor. when i went closer it was my fren fiona, the blue-eyed sf girl. so i talked with her n wondered why she was out here alone, when suddenly i looked up n saw a body hanging from the ceiling, n it was her! then i looked at her again n she turned into this corpse sadako thingy n freaked me out that i woke up!

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

celebrated bro boon's birthday and titus' farewell supper!

dedicated entry to titus! the stick man of the strikeforce! hahaha...

had a wonderful time today. went to church at 10 pm to celebrate bro boon's birthday, his 32nd birthday! had a super nice cake in the shape of a snare drum, with 2 mini-toms! super funny lah.. the whole surprise plan failed! alvin promoted to emperor of the space cadets liao! hhahaha..

but the real fun began after the celebrations at church.. cos there were too many kids around anyway.. hehz.. the older ones decided to go to lau pa sat to have a supper party for titus.

n herein lies the great tragedy.. ok lah, not so bad! but something not so nice happened.. really sorry that she was told to go home. seeing the disappointed look on her face, n her tone of speech, i really identified with how she felt.. being left out of the group of friends, told to go home n sleep when it's her last day of exams! oh man.. if i were her, i'd insist on going out, who cares about what my mum says, its the end of exams, give her a break! but too bad.. sent her home n then went to join the guys at lau pa sat..

where i didn't eat much n still paid the full price for the food since everyone was chipping in.. oh well, i guess it doesn't matter. the fun's in the fellowship, not the food! let me see if i can still remember who eventually made it to esplanade for about an hour or more of crap-talk! haha!

soo huei, titus n his gf, lingling, sharlyn, jennifer, bro boon, david, sean, benedict, nic ho, alvin, colin, n darshan. yupz, all 14 of us sitting around esplanade talking crap n having fun until 2 am plus in the morning! was the bestest time i ever had with SF pple! these r really friends, whom i'm not afraid to go to war with, to stand up for, and support.

thanks God, for such wonderful friends! truly what You said in the Bible is so true! there's no greater love than to lay down one's life for a friend. here we are, laying our lives down for one another by simply spending precious time, catching up with old friends and fellow strikers! the bonds built over such intense late-night fellowship, is really fantastic, cannot even be put into words. we're all gonna miss titus, he's been one heck of a fun guy, yet humble n spiritual too.

bless him in his journey Lord, bless each n everyone of the strikeforce members!

in Jesus name,
Amen!

in Jesus name,
Amen!