Results out, thank You Lord!

For the first time in law school i got an A for something!! Haha!

Ok, although that isn't really something to be proud of, given that my friends always have at least an A somewhere in each semester, that least thats a break thru! To me, at least. Thank You for helping me have the favour of man! I believe the Bs also came because You helped me thru giving the teachers the right impression of me, even though i often skipped classes! hahaha... ok, next semester i will not skip any tutorials, i promise You.

Never been so happy in a very long time! Goes to show that as long as I love You and serve You and remain faithful and obedient to You i will never lose out to the pple in the world!

In Jesus name,
Amen!!

Thank You

Dear Lord

thank You for a great day! managed to accomplish quite a lot today, had the CS training, the prayer meeting, the strikeforce practice and completed the letter to shaun, as well as catch up with ken poh n mikki on msn.

God, i never realised how important msn is to me until my computer broke down!

honestly its not msn which is important, but the friends n the communication channel. with msn i can chat with so many people whom i won't ordinarily meet up with personally n confront them on personal issues without fear.

i pray that You use me as much as possible for the rest of my life. i am so limited n weak without You. only when You live in me n move thru me can i really be a history maker n an impacter of the market place!

made contact with an old friend, Angeline. Lord, i pray You use me to bring her back to church again. even kelvin as well, i doubt he goes to church or prays much to You, help me convince him to come to church n know You for who You are, not some abstract religious figure, but a real person who is able to talk n understand us!

as for Destiny.. i believe it is really time to cut off this wrong relationship and start anew with a new friendship. hard as it may be, it is a long time coming n is the right thing to do.

i'm really not feeling too well these days, maybe cos i got caught in the rain or something, but protect my health Lord. i need to keep in fit condition to play for strikeforce for this saturday as well as the NDP previews n emerge events!

in Jesus name i pray
Amen!

letter to shaun!

hi
though its been bout 3 years since i knew you, haven't really told you much about myself even if we're in the same zone n same school! so here's what i want to share, in a nutshell.
about my spiritual life, here's the situation
i don't really pray that much n that consistently.. sometimes i don't pray for more than a few minutes a day, especially when i'm very tired.. but sometimes i can pray for over an hour.. so quite inconsistent. need to work on that, i'm really trying to find the right time to pray n read the Bible without distraction. at night sometimes its too late so maybe i'll try to do it pastor phil's way n do my QT in the early morning.. i'll let u know how it goes in maybe 2 weeks time thru email. hopefully my prayer life will have stabilized after emerge.
actually i lost the passion for God sometime last year.
yeah.. i don't know if yujie told you. but last year initially i wanted to rise up to be a CGL, i was giving BS to a few members, leading prayer meetings, taking games, etc. but because of some complication with joan i got very discouraged n as a result didn't concentrate on God as i should have. of cos i don't blame God, i only have myself to blame for not focusing on the right things at the right time. i'm on vow till 2007 since 2002, but since then i've fallen twice liao, once for jessie until she backslided, then last year joan came into the picture. just when i thought i was ok with the relationship business, its like another temptation comes along n i fall.
so then i got so discouraged i felt i would never achieve my dream of being a CGL if such a small thing can distract me so easily, so i threw myself into choir n strikeforce n music. it was pretty ok, doing admin, helping out n serving when i needed to serve. but not really stepping out of my comfort zone, not feeling satisfied where i am. a bit confused, i failed at being a CGL, so its not God's calling for me.
so i just want to go back to basics n love God n wait for Him to tell me what to do.
yup..
as for solutions on what we can do for the new friends n the cell group:
i am asking sweekeng to organise basketball n jamming events for the 3 tuition kids who like sports n music
i want to resume giving BS to jaric n daryl if i'm able to, going to finish the last 2 lesson of getting started with boon kiat
praying with members over the phone, meeting up members individually to chat... especially pple who actually look up to me (according to adeline), like clarence n boon kiat. i think that group fellowship is great, but intimacy is only built thru personal meeting. i just met up one of my choir helpers who's going thru a tough time... so surprised he called me out at 1 am in the morning, but thank God i was awake n able to meet him n counsel him..
but ultimately i believe its my personal prayer life n spiritual condition that needs "fixing" n "Grooming". once i get back on track n in touch with God, i just know everything will be alright.
yours sincerely,weiwen

Praise the Lord! My PC is working once again!

dear God

thanks for restoring my PC! though i really wana complain n whine about how all my files n songs n documents n pictures n stuff are lost, i somehow don't really bother. yeah its true, pictures of my Israel trip are gone, pictures of my JC days are gone, my outings with friends, my 21st birthday pics, my Osaka n shanghai pictures, etc. but it really doesn't matter. i believe that You have a great big camera up there and when i get up there and want to look back on life, i can ask You for access to Your great big database! hehz..

like what Thomas Edison said when his lab burnt down with all his equipment n experiments. All our mistakes are erased and we can begin anew! All my corrupted data is erased, my immoral habits and corrupted stuff are destoryed!

yes i'm not afraid to admit i do have certain weaknesses regarding pornography. it doesn't really bother me, only when circumstances or people force me to go thru unwanted experiences of despair n loneliness then i really get the urge to commit this grosteque sin.. but i believe that You will help me overcome each temptation when it arises. i will force myself to go pray and read the Bible or something that forces me to look to You and look away from the world.

God honestly i'm quite worried about my exams. results are out this thursday... please help me thru it, cos i think i have run into some trouble with one of my modules.

Later there's an emerge prayer meeting. i'm still considering if i want to go. obviously i don't want to go even though i've already committed myself to go. in 2 weeks i begin my work attachment. totally NOT looking forward to it at all.. so scared of working in the legal field having seen what goes on in there.. pple are ruthless n cunning n smarter than me.. God give me faith and courage to really go into the marketplace to make a difference for You, even if it is just a small difference. Give me wisdom and discernment to help me in the workplace, so that i can be more efficient n effective in my work.

In Jesus name I pary
Amen!

computer still down after 2 weeks!! darn..

ok.. its been 2 weeks since my com crashed n everything's gone...

really annoyed...

but other than that quite ok lah.. got 3 Strikeforce performances coming up!

really a bit worried about exam resutls, esp for env law! goodness... can't afford to screw up another module n retake again next sem!!

exams r over but my com has crashed!! time to start anew..

dear God

before i start to complain n gripe about how my comp crashed, i think i should give You the respect and honour You deserve!

thank You for pulling me thru the exams.. though i don't really expect to do that well for the papers i really know that without You i would've fared even worse, or even given up hope for one of the modules again like last semester! thank God that didn't happen, thanks for great friends n seniors who've really encouraged me n helped me in studying for the exams!

also NDP training has started! really so glad to be able to take part in strikeforce activities again! i really love the people there, n the impact that this ministry is making in the country! just came home from a recording for the actual track! when singapore listens to the music this NDP, its great knowing that i actually played a part of it! haha.. thank You for such an opportunity to shine for You in the marketplace! one day You will be made known thru our music, thru our drum beats, thru our enthusiasm and vigour for life! the Bible says we have a choice, and strikeforce is obviously pro-life!

thank You also for another performance on may 18th! can't wait to once again feel the adrenaline rush during a performance, knowing that we're all doing this for You and yet still able to enjoy ourselves tremendously! thats what having a passion for the ministry should feel like! really enjoying the presence of God, doing good work for You and impacting the people around us! i can say without regret that i'm so proud of being a part of the strikeforce!

God, i'm about to prepare a sermon 0n faith for the upcoming preaching challenge. and You know me best, when i compete, i compete all out to win! perhaps its my egoistic nature n thats a bad thing, but on the other hand, if i'm just finding my talents n putting them to the ultimate test, for the future of Your kingdom, then it isn't so bad now is it? this primal, inbuilt desire to win at everything i do? this perfectionist, excellence spirit? God if it is not from You n stems from selfish pride, then i pray tat You take it away, n destroy it, at any cost. becos i never want to do something out of my own selfish ambitions, i want always to excerise the gifts of the Holy Spirit only to do Your will, whether or not i know it.

in one way, i actually feel relieved my com crashed. my bad habit will not bother me this season becos there is no way for me to access the wrong images online if my computer is not working! praise God. the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, so if i can't control my flesh, God You take control of the situation n do anything that needs to be done to control it! i starve the sinful old man in me, crucify it, he will die and the new man will live once again in me!

in Jesus name i pray
Amen!

final exam paper!!

alright.. just 10 hours more till the end of my exams!!

tml gonna enjoy a whole day of fun n movie with my special fren... hahaha!!

final exam paper!!

thank God its finally going to be over in about 10 hours!!!

i really wonder.. why pple like them get depression!

dear God,

just some questions that's been bugging me after viewing all the blogs by various SF pple and various flicker albums.

those pple look soooo good in the photos!! really, some of them r simply super handsome, charming, or for the ladies, so sweet, pretty, fashionable, cute, etc.. i think SF pple really know how to dress to impress! they just look good with the glory of God!

they're all so much better looking than me. i'm being totally honest, i know i'm not exactly good looking but i try to make up for it in my personality. hehz.. but anyway i really wonder..

how can pple who look so good feel so depressed n have low self-esteem?

to me, they'll always be beautiful people.. in fact i haven't met many pple in my life who doesn't appeal to me as a beautiful person. the people i meet, the youths, the young adults, the middleaged adults, the elderly, the rowdy ah bengs, the pouty ah lians, the spoilt brats, the arrogant guys..

no matter how i look at it i always feel that people have much potential in them. i look at them n feel compassion, n yet puzzlement as well. the children of God should not be walking in depression n defeat! we should be walking in God's confidence, having the assurance of the faith, knowing that if God is for me noone can come against me!

doesn't matter if i don't look as cool as arthur or can dance as well as rallen, or can play drums as well as bro boon. what matters is that i do the will of the One who sent me.

when i start looking at myself thru God's eyes, when i see the destiny that You have prepared specially for me, nothing else matters. not the fame, or the recognition, or the popularity (since young i've always wanted to be popular, perhaps an ego thing? or something that brings me a false sense of security of being wanted? in this area, i'm not so different from peggie.. in fact everyone wants to be recognised, everyone wants to be appreciated... its inherent human nature to want to be known n to be seen n to be thanked.. thats why we must first always be thankful to God, if we are thankful to Him, others will do likewise..) or the difficult circumstances. its all worth it.

at the end of the day, i just want to see Your face.

thank You Lord, for all You've done.

Mikki's birthday, and Passion for Christ!

Dear Lord God,

thank You for a wonderful day (except the stomachache!) many events happened today..

really thankful for pastor Mike Conner and the word from God about passion...

its been so long since i last had a real zeal, passion, burning. all-cosuming fire for God.

i've been marginalised, complacent, indifferent about so many things...

doing the right things at the right time but NOT for the right reasons.

really feel that i need more passion for Christ again. not awe, not sorrow, not guilt, not impatience.. but really, just pure passion. the kind that will burn all the sins away from my life, burn all the negative thoughts, burn all the wrong attitudes n behaviour.

help me regain the passion for You, i promise that after my exams i will spend much more time with You. praying for passion, reading the Word, practicing the preaching of the Word.

You are my life, Lord Jesus.. all i have i give to You.

just read peggie's and ian's blog.. too tired to read the other blogs from the SF people, but nevertheless, i feel burdened for these people..

peggie's a sweet girl who really loves You Lord, send Your love to comfort her, help her to move on with life and get over the wrong relationship quickly, and burn with passion for Your will! focusing on You and forgetting all worldly things, let her be changed to be more like You.

for Ian, i don't know what happened but i pray that You comfort him as well, i know how it feels to have a broken heart, and You of all people should know what a broken heart is like.. Your people have broken Your heart time n time again.. i have broken Your heart n been unfaithful to a holy God many times. so i pray You comfort Ian, whatever situation he's in, let him know You are always there. n his friends are always gonna support him no matter what!

i pray all these things in Jesus name,
Amen!